On the Road, Again! Prayer Brings About Change.

Prayer brings about change

As-salaam Alaikum! Praise be to Allah!

In January I wrote about making a wrong turn with a non-muslim man. In that article I mentioned that I'd gotten fed up with my husband's gambling and filed for divorce. Well, we've spent some time a part. During this time, he's had plenty of time to think about what he really wants out of life, and I have had plenty of time to think about forgiveness and moving forward in a positive direction.

　

Since the divorce was not going through quickly, I have spent time in prayer and focusing in on where I needed to improve instead of focusing in on what he had done. During this process I learned that I am not a very good listener, when it comes to my husband trying to express himself. I have the habit of being so wrapped up in my own feelings that I can't allow anyone elses feelings to be uncovered. No, I am not taking the blame for any thing that he made the decision to do or not do, but I am just discovering my own short comings. Boy, I am not so perfect after all. I think my childhood has a lot to do with my need for control. This need for control is not something that is always good, when a man is trying to be in his rightful place as a leader. He didn't need me second guessing everything or every decision that he made. He needed my ideas, but the final decisions were for him to make.

I must remember that he did take the Shahada. I must respect that.

At the beginning of March, after not taking his numerous calls, I answered. It was a man with a voice I barely knew. He sound strong, revived, and direct. He was very clear about not wanting to give up on our marriage; that he'd been praying. Most suprising, he was willing to go to counselling for his gambling habit. I was for the first time, speechless.

To make a long story short, we are getting help in solving our problems from both Allah and a trained therapist. As part of that therapy, I will be joining my husband on the road. Oh, he is a big truck driver. So, we will be riding cross country, praying, and discovering new and better things about each other.

Yes, I had the divorce was dismissed! (smile)

Allahu Akbar!

Getting to the REAL!

Assalaam Alaikum!


In life there are many transitions that each of us must make to get to "what is."
The world is so full of things that clouds us from who we really are and who we could some day evolve into.

For many years I was lost in this world. I felt like a fish out of water. All the time , in this struggle to breathe, I discovered that sometimes those closest to you can be your worst enemies. This discovery revealed envy, jealousy, hatred, and coveting .  What a harshness to deal with and to face.

Once one realizes that life, as you thought it to be, is really only an illusion,  it is then time to wake up to the REAL. It is never to late to discover your purpose or who or what you should be. Getting to the REAL is what you must do.

Yes, we all have been under some sort of illusion at some point in our lives, but it does not mean that we have to stay under the dark cloud of this illusion. We must look deep, question, peel away the layers of the false things that have been forced upon us. These things may have been made to seem as though they were to help, but later is found to be something to destroy. Yes, it was meant to make you cry, it was meant to make you feel less that okay, it was meant to stifle your progress, but I am here to tell you that all of it was to keep you from getting to the REAL. The REAL of your purpose, the REAL of your destiny, the REAL of your success, the REAL of you having true love, and the REAL of you being happy.

So, in short,  it is time to look at everyone, every negative situation, every aspect of your being and figure out how to break through the illusion that may be hindering, stifling, depressing your life. Once you have pin pointed the illusion, KNOCK IT DOWN! Get to the bottom of it and find the REAL for you.

A scream in the darkness........................................................

As-salaam Alaikum!

Been awhile. I know. I have just been studying the world around me.

When you SHUT UP, LISTEN, and WATCH for just a moment, it is remarkable what one will discover.

I have learned so much from watching children. I have learned so much from adults that are still trapped in childhood.

Some children are growing up in evil times. Those children sometimes find their way out of the madness and some don't.

Below I write of a child who never escaped the evilness of this world.

She says:   "I was just a little girl who they said didn't understand. But, I know what I saw out of that
                    window pane.

                    Grandaddy was digging with sweat dripping down. I could hear the sound of the crunch
                    of the gravel on the ground. And then I saw him put a man in the hole, I saw him put
                    him in the ground. He put that man way way down.

                    Please, let my eyes deceive me. Oh, God, let my eyes deceive me.

                    When I close my eyes to sleep at night, monsters tumble in my head. I cry out in the
                     darkness and run from my bed.

                     I keep remembering that day, he put that man in the ground. It makes my head ache,
                     my chest pound.   I cry in my head to let my eyes deceive me!

                    I was just a little girl who was told that I didn't understand about the digging, the gravel,
                   the hole, and that man. I have tried to block it from my mind. I was never allowed to  feel.

                    I was just a little girl that day. My life changed in a dark dark kinda way. Still, I scream
                    inside of my head "I saw him put that man in the ground!"

                    Oh, let my eyes deceive me!"

 How many children out there must live this life because of the evil that is created in this world? Somewhere along this journey called life, the heartache and the evil must end!

WHY THIS EVIL? What happened to the Good Ole Days?

Assalamu Alaikum!

No Words I have had to even began to describe the feelings I wish to express for the happenings that have occurred since I last talk with you.

The Boston Marathon Explosions, the children kidnapped years ago and then rescued as women................................................Shootings, shootings, and more shootings!

So much evil in the world. Oh, how we need prayer and knowledge more than ever!

The human race seems to be losing sensitivity in loving thy neighbor, caring, feeling, and empathizing.


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Unexplained shootings of masses of people by individual shooters makes my eyes water with sorrow.

How do we come together to conquer this evil that slithers through this society?

We should be afraid, very afraid for the future of this country and our futures.

We must turn to Allah (God) and teach others about His love.

I really miss those days , when we had prayer in school, could leave our doors unlocked, could walk outside without fear, could take the kids to the park without the worry of a tragedy......

Oh! What has happened to those days of old? Those Good Ole Days?

Doing Good Deeds....to Go to Jinnah......BE CAREFUL!

As-salaam Alaimkum!                                                                  http://www.yournetpay.com/index.php?refcode=27107

Doing good deeds is part of getting to Jinnah.  I love doing good deeds!

Initially, doing good deeds are easy  to do, right?

In my case, I kept doing those good deeds over and over. I kept getting evil and hurt in return, this was both physically and mentally from the people I was doing good deeds for.

I fell, face down, body stretched out and  in tears before Allah early this morning. I was so angry, so hurt, so confused. "Please, please, please make this clear to me," I pleaded.


I must admit, I found myself cracking and angry at the selfish behavior of some people.

I screamed at the women who took it upon herself to come  to my property without permission and use my water and my water hose, when she had water and a water hose of her own.  I then stood up to the man who I'd fed so many times, when he was hungry, after he violently grabbed me and assaulted me.  My sons were outraged that someone I'd tried to help had hurt me.  Then I got the courage to say," No!" to that drug addicted nephew of that same man when he wanted to shower, eat, or sleep at my home. After all, the nephew didn't protect me from his uncle's violent attack that day nor did he even make an attempt to save me from injury.

Thought that I had tough skin. Thought I could ignore the meaness, the cruelty, the lack of love in this world by killing it with good deeds. Could I be wrong?

What do you do in cases like this?

You give;  They plot to steal.
You give;  They plot to see how much they can get for free.
You give;  They may be planning to follow you home to see how much more you've got.

I never want to think like this, but it may get this way.

Allah cleared my thinking, took my thinking, forgave me.

I can still give without fear, hurt, or pain.

There are organizations, charities, anonymous alms, groups that I can do good deeds through!

I can say "NO!" to users, people plotting to do harm, and to those who make a living off of those who are doing genuine to try to help others.


 

Skittles........kid.....USA........PART II My Son Arrested? For Being of Color?

As-salaam Alaikum!                                                                                                                                

The night after the verdict came in the Trayvon Martin case, my son decided to give a speech about what to expect over the next couple of days, if there should be a reaction to this case in downtown Macon, GA.

My son, stood at the edge of a water fountain, began to speak to the homeless, Blacks, and who ever would listen about oppression when, at that moment, two White police officers with the City of Macon told him to get down. Meanwhile, my other son was told to stop taping with his cell phone or he would be arrested for harassment.

One officer asked for my older sons name. My son responded with his middle name and last name, which he usually goes by, not knowing that the officer was going to run his name in the data base. The officer came back, ordered him to give him his real name. My son quickly told him his whole name. Of course, my son had no criminal record. This seem to upset the officer. Then the officer put my older son into hand cuffs and took him off into the patrol car to be processed into jail! We could not believe this was happening.

Three days in jail, waiting for court. No criminal record, never in trouble, expressing freedom of speech.......tell me what was so wrong about this?

The judge was highly disturbed by the arrest. He expressed his annoyance and dismissed my son's charges.

By then, my son's mugshot was in the newspaper with charges, but there was no recap that the charges were dismissed.

Is there a conspiracy to try to get all young boys and men of color labeled with arrests at a youth age? Is this done because there is something lacking in the White race that makes them afraid that races of color just may be on the rise in creating a new and better government that the one that has been dominated and ruled by them for so long? Or are they just predisposed to violence, hatred, and the creation of mass destructive weapons, and guns that kill and destroy?What is the problem?

Khadijah Amatullah (TammieGipson-Chin)


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Skittles.......kid.......USA. What Would You Have Done?

As-salaam Alaikum!                                                        http://www.eastessence.com/catalog/KURTI_TUNIC-17-1.html         

Skittles............kid............walking home.............USA. Think it's safe? Think again. Where is your child, as we speak? What preconceived notion does someone carry in their mind about who you or your child may be by just characterizing you by how you appear? Will your child be followed for having on the latest fad jacket, or resembling the persons arrested last month in a burglary? Will you or your child be shot and killed when being approached by a stranger with a gun, when you try to run? Or fight for your life, if you didn't want them following you home? If you couldn't get a way, what would you do?

R.I.P.T.Martin

Khadijah Amatullah