On the Road, Again! Prayer Brings About Change.

Prayer brings about change

As-salaam Alaikum! Praise be to Allah!

In January I wrote about making a wrong turn with a non-muslim man. In that article I mentioned that I'd gotten fed up with my husband's gambling and filed for divorce. Well, we've spent some time a part. During this time, he's had plenty of time to think about what he really wants out of life, and I have had plenty of time to think about forgiveness and moving forward in a positive direction.

　

Since the divorce was not going through quickly, I have spent time in prayer and focusing in on where I needed to improve instead of focusing in on what he had done. During this process I learned that I am not a very good listener, when it comes to my husband trying to express himself. I have the habit of being so wrapped up in my own feelings that I can't allow anyone elses feelings to be uncovered. No, I am not taking the blame for any thing that he made the decision to do or not do, but I am just discovering my own short comings. Boy, I am not so perfect after all. I think my childhood has a lot to do with my need for control. This need for control is not something that is always good, when a man is trying to be in his rightful place as a leader. He didn't need me second guessing everything or every decision that he made. He needed my ideas, but the final decisions were for him to make.

I must remember that he did take the Shahada. I must respect that.

At the beginning of March, after not taking his numerous calls, I answered. It was a man with a voice I barely knew. He sound strong, revived, and direct. He was very clear about not wanting to give up on our marriage; that he'd been praying. Most suprising, he was willing to go to counselling for his gambling habit. I was for the first time, speechless.

To make a long story short, we are getting help in solving our problems from both Allah and a trained therapist. As part of that therapy, I will be joining my husband on the road. Oh, he is a big truck driver. So, we will be riding cross country, praying, and discovering new and better things about each other.

Yes, I had the divorce was dismissed! (smile)

Allahu Akbar!